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Review: Bayonetta | Bullets 'n' booty

Review: Bayonetta | Yes. Everything is rubbish. By Random J

So, what do you do when a franchise that you loved and created lies in the hands of a company you no longer work for? Easy! You make a game just like it. Except better. With more guns. More bloodshed. More hair. And a contender for the sexiest female character of all time in the lead role who strips naked to kill people. Enter, Bayonetta.

Bayonetta is developed by the creator of Devil may cry, and this shows from the start. The button configuration is similar, the way you pull moves off is similar, the styles are similar. It really is a spiritual counter-part to Devil may cry. It's easy to turn your nose up at this, and cast it off as a re-hash, or a regurgitation of what we've had before. (Especially if you hate Devil may cry as much as I do). But Bayonetta is much more. The game seems shallow when you take it at place value and see nothing but half nakedness and open legs in the gameplay footage. But beneath the surface lies a damn good game, which trumps the franchise that helped spawn it in the first place.

Bayonetta's story isn't all that amazing and a great deal of it doesn't make sense. The game doesn't throw curve-balls, so much as it does nonsensical plot devices; which leave you baffled, never really get explained and has you heading to Wikipedia for clarity. This isn't much of an issue though. The broken story unfolds in such a flurry of fun hi-octane cut scenes and humorous exchanges - that you just enjoy the ride. The game doesn't give you much time to think too much about how all over the place it is until it all ends.

Review: Bayonetta | Yes. Everything is rubbish. By Random J

Now, let's talk about the games' focal point. Bayonetta herself. She is one of the coolest video game characters to touch down in a long while. She's the perfect heroine, and is sheer fan service in the sexiest form. She has killer legs, likes lollipops, struts and never walks, likes sex, is full of double entrendres, she swears, she gets naked to defeat enemies, pole dances in the ending credits and then does a full blown choreographed dance sequences complete with chest popping, pussy popping and slow grinds. What's not to love? The great thing about Bayonetta (aside from all the above) is that she's capable. The woman is near enough invincible. The whole time you're playing the game, you know nothing is going to really happen to her because she's too much of bad ass. Or at least you hope nothing does happen to her, out of the sheer love you grow to have for her. Bayonetta is the baddest bitch of a witch that lived. An amazing character design with very few flaws, if any.

Review: Bayonetta | Yes. Everything is rubbish. By Random J

The games' cast are a cool bunch. It would be easy for them to fall into the shadow of Bayonetta's awesomeness, but they provide Bayonetta with so many of her iconic, gaming classic moments that you can't forget them. Rodin: the demon hunting weapons merchant who looks like a cross between Blade and The Candyman. Enzo: the demon treasure hunter who looks like Danny DeVito dressed as a pimp. Luka: the pussy chasing journalist who is fascinated with Bayonetta. Little Cereza: who has to be one of the sweetest and cutest characters in a video game. And Bayonetta's rival Jeanne: the bad ass witch with a motorcycle. From their looks, to their killer one liners. You'll always enjoy Bayonetta's interactions with each of them.

Bayonetta's graphics are gorgeous. There's not a great deal that Platinum games serve up that you've not seen on a 360 or a PS3 before, but the game is still a looker. There is the occasional drop in frame rate which oddly occurs during moments where there isn't that much going on. But these moments are few. All in all, Bayonetta is a great looking game with, with enough graphical flair and style to make you take notice during the moments that you're not ogling over just how cool Bayonetta is.

The soundtrack in Bayonetta is awesome. The boss battle themes are nothing short of epic. And the funky jazz numbers that play whilst Bayonetta kicks arse compliment her character nicely. There's something incredibly addictive and satisfying about impaling masquerading angels to a porn groove rendition of "Fly me to the moon". The soundtrack does a great job of really defining the game, and adding flair to the overall tone of it.

Review: Bayonetta | Yes. Everything is rubbish. By Random J

Now for Bayonetta's technical faux pas. The camera is bloody atrocious. I do not know how Platinum games managed to balls it up so badly, but the camera is a joke. The whole time you're playing the game you're aware of how bad the camera is; but you let it off on the merits that the game is good, and everything looks so good even when the angle is bad. But as you progress through the game, the bosses get harder and you begin to tackle the higher difficulties, and go for the platinum medals - the camera becomes an issue and a complete liability. I couldn't tell you how many times I took critical hits and got killed in a boss battle, or fell off of a platform and plummeted to my doom because the camera was such a mess. You can try to position the camera to your liking, but all you end up doing is making it worse. The enemies in this game provide a challenge, but they aren't the threat. The camera is.

The game also pushes some QTE's onto you, which are no bad thing. Except there is no warning when the first one appears during what you think is just a non-interactive cut scene. And during some of the later battles it is far too easy to miss a QTE, because the game insists you be in a specific spot and not a pixel off of it for the QTE to appear on screen, which can lead to mis-timings, failures, losing upper hands in boss battles and wanting to just curse.

One aspect of Bayonetta which surprised me was it's adult content. Not only because of the blatant sexually suggestiveness of everything Bayonetta says and does - but because of the swearing. I honestly didn't know the game had any. F**ks and shits get dropped with regularity from the very start. It's almost excessive at times. None of this hinders the game in any way. But I do think it should have been given an 18 certification instead of a 15.

The similarities between Bayonetta and Devil may cry are glaring. There is no skirting around it. From the HUD display, to the combo system, the style of the items you pick up, the superhuman main character with ties to hell; who is feared throughout the land, fighting the same bosses over and over through out the game - you can tell the driving force behind the first Devil may cry was responsible for this game. But Bayonetta has enough going for it that it can be set apart. Standing on its own purely on the merits of how good and stylish a game it is. For me personally, it's everything Devil may cry should have been. Although there's no denying that there wouldn't have been a Bayonetta with it.

Review: Bayonetta | Yes. Everything is rubbish. By Random J

What helps set Bayonetta apart is its style. The game doesn't try to be anything it's not. It's fun, fast paced, action packed and full of tongue-in-cheek nods, jokes and double entendres. The game is in on every joke it makes, which makes the game even cooler. It even pokes fun and makes references to other popular video games. Distinguishing them all is a game in itself. You can tell as you play through Bayonetta that the developers had a lot of fun with it. There are so many moments in this game that will make you laugh, smile and wonder how Hideki Kamiya got away with some of it. Watching Bayonetta have a dance off with a doppleganger of herself, a giant axe wielding monster fall in love with a little girl, a naked witch fly through the air with a pink glow emanating from her vagina, and a close up of a drop of water roll off of Bayonetta's breast are just a few of the spectacles the game throws at you. Shockingly there's no option to view the cut scenes in the gallery. A missed opportunity there. Although it's probably a ploy to make you play through the game again to watch them. No bad thing, considering the replay value the game has in terms of achieving awards and racking up high scores.

Bayonetta is a really fun game. It begins to lose steam by the end. Some chapters are lighter on the action than preferred and others outstay their welcome. But everything is wrapped up in a nice neat package that will please Devil may cry fans and even those who couldn't stand the game. For those after some good action featuring a character that's impossible to hate: Bayonetta's the game for you. A solid package, and another shiny star for the folk at Platinum games.


👍🏾 Fun, fun and more fun
👍🏾 Easy to pick up and play
👍🏾 A kick arse lead heroine, who sets a standard
👍🏾 A fair amount of replay value

👎🏾 Lots of attacks, but not enough weapons to mess around with
👎🏾 Some chapters felt too long, and over stay their welcome
👎🏾 Iffy QTE's
👎🏾 Horrendous camera

Verdict: A bit repetitive, but still a fun time.

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