Yes. Everything Is Rubbish.

So, originally I had written part of this as a '7 days with Final Fantasy VII Remake' piece, because I had thoughts that I felt compelled to type and share with all 2 people who know of this wasteland of blog. But I was so close to the end and had heard 'whispers' about the ending to this game, so figured I should just complete the damn thing so I can talk about all the things. And now here I am. Ready to talk about it all. This Review will be chock-a-block full of spoilers. So if you've not played the game yet, then read on at your own risk.

I typed this post after the first couple hours of playing Kingdom Hearts III, with the intent of posting it the next morning. But then I kept playing it more and more, and this post just became a near diary of my thoughts of Kingdom Hearts III. So, what was supposed to be my First impressions, became more like my first, second, third, forth, fifteenth impressions. Basically a su-   Fuck it. It’s a damn review. As if anybody gives a damn. This post isn’t that spoilerific. But there are definitely spoilers. So if you’ve not played through Kingdom Hearts III yet, then go stream “Don’t Think Twice” by Hikaru Utada on Spotify.

Okay. So, I've had a bit more time with Sonic mania and I'm ready to hit you with a full blown lowdown of how I feel about this game. Key word being 'I' ya'll. First thing's first. Sonic mania is a good game. After having so many Sonic titles from SEGA which seem to have no respect for the series' origins, it's nice to have a game which does. Sonic mania feels like a love letter to the original Sonic the hedgehog titles (i.e 1, 2, 3, CD and Sonic & Knuckles). Sonic mania references each of these games through zones, gameplay mechanics, animation and bosses.

Upon playing Final Fantasy XV I was concerned for Breath of the wild . Final Fantasy and The legend of Zelda are 2 franchises I have never compared in the past. It's like comparing one of those FIFI or Super evolution football games to Super Mario. But with the latest entries in the series, it was difficult not to, because they both seemed to be seeking to achieve the same thing and going about it in similar ways. But the execution is where both games completely diverge and Breath of the wild is teaching Final Fantasy XV some lessons along with it. In fact, it's teaching all Zelda fans a lesson.

'A Final Fantasy for fans and first timers'. The first set of words that you're graced with upon booting this game up for the first time. Final Fantasy XV seems to have a different perception of itself as opposed to what it actually is. Final Fantasy XV may talk like it's all new, but it walks its same old walk. Things in this game are bigger than they have been before, but they're not drastically different. You're still off on an adventure in a party. There are guys with spiky hair, and outfits with zips 'n' buckles. There's still magic. There are crystals and shit. There are massive allies who will fry, freeze and electrocute everything in sight at the push of a button. There's somebody named Cid. There's some evil person in some impractical outfit. Don't let this open world talk and the boy-band vibes of the main posse fool you. This is Final Fantasy as you've always known it.

I was sceptical of Link's first new 3DS outing at first because I have a bad track record when it comes to handheld Zelda's. I start them, but never finish them. To this day I have not completed a single one of the handheld Zelda adventures. I had also read a rather negative review over at Destructoid which stuck with me, even amongst the hundreds of glowing reviews published elsewhere. But I finally took the plunge with Link brand new 3DS debut, because in all fairness; Nintendo has never released a bad Zelda game. Some are better than others, but not one of them has been terrible. A Link between worlds is set in the exact same Hyrule as  A Link to the past . For Nintendo to do this was a bold move, because it is such a highly regarded game and is my favourite Zelda game of all time. I should have been excited at a chance to revisit this world, but I was full of doubt going into this game because I didn't want my memories of the game to be ruined, tainted or desecrated. B...

Sonic CD is one of my favourite Sonic games. I'd even say it's the best one. I remember playing the game for the first time back in '93 on my Uncle's Mega CD and being completely enchanted by the colour, the speed, the time travelling, the sickening over use of parallax scrolling and the soundtrack that is so good that I believe it has the ability to cure Cancer. 2 years later my father would buy me a multi mega. And 3 months after that I would acquire a copy of Sonic CD , finding it on my local market stall after weeks and weeks of searching and scouring every Woolworths store in London. But my time with the game would be short lived. Sony would release the PlayStation which had me question why Sega's CD games looked so poo when Sony's looked so good and could do "3D and dat innit" . And seeing Street Fighter Alpha 2 for sale on the shelf of my local Blockbuster would have me terminate all allegiance to the Multi mega and Sonic CD and flog it at so...

The Marvel vs. Capcom series had seemingly gone down with the Dreamcast. With the Marvel comics licence having changed hands, and Capcom easing off of the development of beat 'em ups - the era of super hero and Street Fighter gangbangs had come to an end. And all we could do is caress our copies of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 and dream. But it would seem that for Capcom to just make games is not enough, and they've decided to partake in the business of making beat 'em up fans' dreams come true. Not only did they deliver the sequel to Street Fighter many did not think would ever be , and get Tatsunoko vs. Capcom localized after telling us it would never happen...but they did the impossible. Dragging a sequel to Marvel vs. Capcom 2 out from 6 feet under and off the ground. Praise be to Jebus and Professor Sexavier! This is Marvel vs. Capcom 3 . Back to take you on that ride. *puts on Samuel L. Jackson voice* Hold on to your butts ... Marvel vs. Capcom 3 is much of what we...

P.N 03 was a Capcom developed game, released exclusively for the GameCube back in 2003. Upon hearing about P.N 03 and seeing the screenshots, I was incredibly excited about it. The man...the entity responsible for Resident evil that is Shinji Mikami-sama was behind this game. It had a kick arse looking female lead. There would be giant robots, lasers and big explosions! I was sold so good on this game that I pre-ordered it online at Game (who are not the cheapest of options by a long shot) so I could be guaranteed it on release day. If I could go back in time I wouldn't make that mistake again. As far as I'm concerned Capcom stole my £39.99, spat in my face and tried to demand anal sex from me. P.N 03 is old skool. The oldest. Basic controls. Limited continues. Heavy punishment for being hit. And high score racking combo multipliers. An old skool game through and through, with a slick look and a female protagonist who likes to shake her arse for no apparent reason, lift he...

Samus is a bad bitch. I probably shouldn't have referred to her as a bitch. I bet she's rolled into a ball and speeding to my house with murderous intent as I type this. I'm sure she'll forgive me when she realises I've got some good words about her very first 3D adventure. Metroid Prime is not your average first person shoot 'em up. Nintendo have coined it as more of a first person adventure and this sums up the game pretty well. In fact it sums it up pretty perfectly! The game world is not divided into stages or missions as with most FPS's, but one huge area in which Samus must explore. What also causes this game to stray from standard FPS territory is what Samus is able to do. Being a woman she's naturally able to do things that fellas in other first person shooters can't do. Such as curling herself up into a ball and rolling around at top speed, using a grapple beam to swing across chasms and nabbing a perfect lock on her enemies amongst oth...

Ever since Sonic entered the third dimension, things have not gone well for him. He's starred in a slew of terrible titles which have seen Sega do everything but make the games not suck. But when it comes time for Sonic to hit a handheld, somebody on the development team seems to remember what the fans love, and less of what they don't. Okay, so the GameBoy advance port of Sonic the hedgehog 1 was a complete stinker. But other than that. Sonic on handhelds have been pretty decent affairs. Something which was thankfully continued on with Sonic's debut on the DS. Sonic rush plays like pretty much every other Sonic game. But as is the case with every new Sonic game, there are some new gameplay altering twists. First off is that the game is played across two screens. Sonic and new playable character Blaze the Cat will zip along the top screen and swoop down into the bottom during their sprints through stages. It's a minor thing, but it really does add to the frantic pace...

The first time I saw The World Ends With You was back when it was titled It's A Wonderful World and had no plans of a UK release date, and I was in love. It's quirkiness. It's unique look. A DS game that had caught my attention in a way that nothing really had done since Mario Kart. But then doubt set in. I wanted to protect my fragile expectations. I become concerned that the sharp art style would out-do the substance. And that behind the A-grade looks, would like an F grade game. After all, Square Enix y'all. Fast-forward, and I had the game. And within moments of switching it on, I was completely absorbed, and knew I was about to play witness to something special which was going to rob me of hours of my time. The World Ends With You has a really good story. In fact, it has a great one. Beneath all of the hip designs, bold splashes of colour and the young cast, lies a really dark tale of life, death and despair. You don't really see any of it coming, and e...

Final Fantasy XIII has to be one of the most controversial Final Fantasy's to date. Not because it deals with tits, arse and gunning down black people in a Shanty town. But because it see's Square Enix take the franchise in a new direction. The new direction is not as drastic as many make out. After all...many of the development choices that have been made in XIII are in line with the direction the Final Fantasy franchise has been heading down from X. But that doesn't mean it's necessarily the right path, and XIII is all about paths. Linear ones. With no forks in the road what-so-ever.

Capcom never did manage to get around to giving a beat 'em up of theirs a good story. So it won't take me long to explain Power Stone . There are three mystical gems which collectively become a Power Stone and turn the bearer of the stone into a being of their inner wishes, dreams and desires. Translate this to the game: you run around in a small arena to collect these stones, so you can transform and lay a smack down in amidst of explosions, projectiles and fire so bad that the person on the receiving end will feel like rubbish. That's Power Stone for ya. Silly. A little stupid. Strange. Bu oh-so-awesome! The premise of Power Stone is simple. You batter your opponent to death with anything you can lay your hands on. Most objects and fixtures within stages can be picked up and uprooted. Benches, boxes, lamp posts, tables, chairs: it's all game. If you're lucky enough you may find a flame-thrower, rocket launcher or a lead pipe lying around to help dish the pain. D...

When everybody watched the fateful cut scene in Resident evil 5 on what exactly happened Jill on that stormy day at the Spencer mansion, many wondered why the hell Capcom didn't allow you to play through the events leading up to Jill going head first through a window. The answer? Capcom wanted to sucker more money out of you to do so at a later date. I had 500 odd Microsoft points sat in my Xbox Live account for months. So I figured I'd spend some of that and cop this new Lost in nightmares scenario. It has nostalgia in spades and you get to kick it with my bitch Jill. But is it worth the money, and does it help add to the overall RE5 experience? Those hoping for Lost in nightmares to fill in any gaps will be disappointed. You'd think the lead up to the encounter with Wesker and our homie Spencer lying dead in a wheelchair would have been an interesting one. Full of revelations, epic cut scenes and iconic moments. But it's nothing more than a glorified walk through t...