Yes. Everything Is Rubbish.

I bought Resident Evil Re9uiem, REquiem, RE9 — whatever the hell we are calling this game. I bought it day of release and completed it within 4 days. I have a lot of thoughts about this game, many of which seem to be in contrast to what many others seem to think about it. So, here I am with a review, for those who didn’t think the game was flawless and want some validation that they’re not completely crazy.

Way back when I was planning to write a review of Resident Evil 2. But I'm a lazy bitch. So, all I got out were my first impressions . In short, I just thought the game was okay. Not to say that it didn't have great moments. But as a whole, I wasn't wowed and I didn't love it, and this is coming from somebody who loved the shit out of the original. I also loved Resident Evil 3. So when the news leaked broke that a RE3 remake was coming, I was torn between 'OH, THIS IS AMAZING' and then a re-collective 'Oh', as I remembered that I didn't really have fun playing through the RE2 remake. Then my next thought was that Nemesis is gonna be a huge problem if Mr. X is anything to go by. But I'll come back to Nemesis. Now, let's talk about these here graphics. This shit looks better than Resident Evil 2. Resident Evil 3 runs on the same engine that Resident Evil 2 ran on and shares the same art style, so there are clear visual similari...

I'm back. For now. Posting in this desolate landscape of a blog . [Cackles loudly] Very few things bring me out of blog retirement, but Resident Evil is apparently one of those things. I love me some Resident Evil. The original version of Resident Evil 2 is one of my favourite Resident Evil games, followed by 3. And following on from the this years' release of the Resident Evil 2 remake, we will also be getting a Resident Evil 3 remake on April 3, 2020. The shock for me isn't even that the remake is happening. Rumours were abound not long after the Resident Evil 2 remake released. And then the box art leaked a few weeks ago. The shock is that damn release date. April. 2020. That's soon, bitch. REAL soon. I wasn't a huge fan of the Resident Evil 2 remake . I didn't think that it was bad. There were just things about it that I didn't like. But I honestly feel that it was more a reflection of my tolerance and playing levels for videogames just gett...

I've been playing Resident evil 2 for a minute and this game has got me wondering how in the hell I'm gonna make it to the end. Which is the same feeling that Claire and Leon have. So Capcom have already done something right. This post is spoiler free, because I am is struggling to make it through the first couple of hours of this game. Plus, this is more about my inability to stay alive than details on the game itself. I'mma just say this now. Resident evil 2 is difficult. I had long accepted and come to terms with the fact that I had gotten worse at video games as I've gotten older; because I play them less, some of them have steep learning curves and all manner of mechanics 'n' buttons to remember that I just have less patience for than I did when I was 11 years old. I'm lazy. But even so, Resident evil 2 is difficult. Within the first 5 minutes of this game as Claire, I almost died. Before the damn title screen. Before I even met Leon. My first ...

I'm a Resident evil fan. Yeah...I think I can say that. I'm not a fan of every game. I've not even played them all. But I'm a fan of the franchise. Resident evil 2 ranks as not only one of my favourites in the series, but is quite possibly one of my favourite video games. It was a masterclass in how you do a sequel and transform a game that not a lot of people knew much about and spin it into something that would become a behemoth of a franchise. I certainly didn't expect that the original Resident evil would ever get a sequel, much less one as amazing as what we got in 1998. So needless to say, I'm stoked that the long rumoured REmake turned out to be real and that I get to experience a re-imagining of it. Capcom released a playable 1-shot demo a couple of days and I'd held off of playing it, because I'm not one for horror. This makes no fucking sense, because I plan on buying this game day of release and playing the shit out of it. But my this ...

A VHS cassette with playback quality that good? Somebody at Umbrella be trippin' or they held onto those Betamaxes. I wasn't overly keen on the initial Resident evil 6 trailer, because most of it didn't feel like Resident evil . I saw Ghost recon . I saw Infamous . I saw what looked like 3 separate games, and according to game director Eiichiro Sasaki, this is kinda the case. Resident evil 6 features 3 narratives, is essentially 3 games and according to Sasaki you don't even have to play them all. They stand on their own but they do overlap in certain areas. You don't have to play them all, of course. That's a nice endorsement. Why even bother to play this shit at all!? Surely, you'd want players to play through all 3 scenarios - or have I got it all wrong!? You'd think this would be the only way to get the full story. I think it's kinda odd you can even choose. You should have to play through all 3 scenarios. Albeit in any order you like. But you...

Put Leon and Chris in a zombie infested village in the middle of nowhere, and they'll dive out of the window of two story buildings, drive jeeps off of cliffs, dive in the way of bullets and be your perfect action hero - exuding such an excess of testosterone than they could manifest it into C4 putty in their hands. But put them in a room with a female character and they'll be completely dead pan, and show as much interest as a 2-piece chicken in a box. Resident Evil was never one to play on love relationships between characters in the same way that Final Fantasy did / does, and it never will. It's not that kind of game, and it's not something anybody expects from a Resi game. But why the embargo on these men showing a lack of interest in the women in their lives and continually putting B.O.W's before hoes? Let's talk Chris Redfield. From the very start when Chris, Jill, Barry and Albert all ran into that blasted mansion back in July of 1998 you got a vibe in re...

Given the effort that Chris put into getting his buff physique, it's only natural he'd want to show it off, and catch a nice tan whilst he's kicking it in the hazed heat of Kijuju. As well as cater to his gay fanbase. And would you catch a look at Sheva! Titties about to pop out. Tight corset belt. Short skirt. Patent leather knee highs. A slapper version of a fairy tale character costume. Capcom did not miss a beat with her outfit! You can catch Chris and Sheva showing the world how to stay sexy in the midst of an infection outbreak after the jump. The Merceneries reunion looks like what you'd expect: the original mode with some tweaks. 'The mines' look to be even more of a bitch with rabid dogs and fat black men with poles on the loose to make your life a misery - alongside Molotov cocktail slinging locals and the Reaper. 'Public assembly' is now overrun with those annoying insect things - the last things you'd want grabbing a hold of you when The ...

Resident evil 5: Gold edition (formerly known as Alternative edition ) will feature yet more outfits for the candidate for the VG sexy Sheva Alomar. Along with a sexy secretary outfit , she'll also be able to don this new The village , Red riding hood inspired get-up. As you can see from the pic above, the titty cleavage is on full display, and Sheva don't let the sexy stop there. Oh no. As she rocks it all in a little goth skirt, stockings and a pair of knee high boots. Sheva knows how to give the gamers what they want. And she sure as hell is not letting the scandalousness stop at a Leopard print bikini and heels. Give it a read: Resident evil 5 review

This more or less looks the same as Umbrella chronicles from a game play and graphical standpoint. But the story is looking like it'll shed some light on a couple of things. Namely what happened pre- Resident evil 4 . Krauser making like Snake Eater and Bad ass Leon working together side by side in their own chapter is intriguing. I'm glad bad ass Leon will be making an appearance. Little 'Police bitch uniform, white plimmie, gangsta hop through a wooden door' Leon weren't doin' it for me. But black t-shirt, 'My ass has been hittin' a gym', gun harness rockin', size 10 boot through a mutha f**kin' do' Leon was! Can't wait to see what the deal is with Leon and Krauser, and who the girl in the white dress is. According to Capcom she's pretty central to things. So central that we only get a mention of her now. And in a light gun game on Wii at that. I hope we'll get some scoop on Sherry Birkin too. Judging from the 0:35 mark in ...

It's fair to say that Resident Evil was one of 2009s most hyped and anticipated games, and that given Resident Evil 4s critical acclaim across the board, expectations for its sequel were running sky high. Trailers seemed to indicate the game would be everything and more, but unfortunately the game comes up short, way too short. Bitch. Where exactly did Capcom go wrong!? The plot in Resident Evil 5 is your basic run of the mill 'taking over the world' schmuck. The actual premise of the plot is a good one, but its execution is poor, because there's never a point in the game where you feel the world is truly in any danger. This also goes for the main characters. Chris is just a big old tank who goes around speaking of nothing but Jill. And one of the characters in the game told Chris like it is and echoed my sentiments exactly with 'Jill, Jill, Jill. You're like a broken record, you know that?' You don't ever care for Chris or feel he's in any d...

I remember when I first saw shots of this game in a magazine and I was kinda blown away. Thinking "Damn! Game Boy still has it goin' on!" Then recently I came across this video and it's as clear as day why the game got scrapped. Capcom did us a favour. I can't think of anybody who'd play through this. I'm a hardcore Resident evil fan and an avid handheld gamer - but even I would struggle to keep at this game. I'm all for pushing systems, but Resident evil was too much for the GameBoy. Some of that shit was terrible. The way the zombie didn't fall down and the sound effects were just ghetto. So ghetto that you have to kinda admire the tenacity of Capcom letting the game get this far in development in the first place.