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I ♥ Thane: The baddest frog in all the galaxy

Written by Random J •

Whether you've played Mass effect 2 or not. You know of this man. If you've not played the game, you'll recognize him from the box art. If you have played the game, you'll know that Thane is the baddest frog in all of the galaxy...EVER!

Thane can kill you real quick. This is not up for debate. This is not a subject we can roundtable. It's a fact. Thane can kill you, like...REAL quick. He can kill you before you even have a chance to think about this point.

Thane was one of the few characters in Mass effect 2 who I felt I could connect with, because he was open about his race, his homeland, his life and all of that shit which most of us would Dyson like fuck rather than sweep under a rug - where as the other characters seemed guarded and distant. If you don't agree with this, that's fine. Tell me how the hell you connected with that plank Jacob in comparison, aside from sleeping with him and I'll strike through this whole paragraph.

So much about Thane shouldn't fit together, but it does. Because he makes it fit. And if it doesn't fit, then somebody gon' die.
  • Thane kills people nicely. Watch how he takes out this whole room. It's beautiful. It's like death ballet on Mos Eisley. If I were ever to be assassinated, I'd want Thane to do the hit. Because I know he'd make my assassination look really nice, leave my body in a gracious position and then pray for me.
  • Thane is dying, but its okay. Dying doesn't make you bad ass, but dropping it in a conversation like it's nothing does. The only other man who has the tenacity and will to do this is Chuck Norris. That is if Chuck Norris could actually die.
  • Thane is not afraid to cry in front of you and make you feel uncomfortable. When he reunites with his son, he breaks the fuck down and cries. He doesn't turn away, or give that "I've got s'um in my eye" crap. He cries in your face. Which in turn makes you want to hold his frog body and offer him a Kleenex. He even cries during sex. (Bless him). You would not dare make any judgement or remark to Thane in regards to his crying. Because you know he could kill you with his death ballet.
Thane is my n***a for life and this is why I ♥ him. Who knew an anthropomorphic frog with a sniper rifle could be so cool! If you let him die in Mass effect 2, I demand you go through that game and ensure he lives.
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Comments

  1. Junlee22 July 2011 at 06:33

    I must go through the game again and get him to actually be in my party. I went and recruited him but I never did his loyalty mission and, as a result, he died (along with Grunt) at the end. After hearing of his badassery, I know what I must do on my second play though.

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