
After being controversially cut from the first game (much to the dismay of the fangirl and gay community), Male Shepard is able to embark on a romance with Kaidan Alenko in Mass effect 3. You know I love me some Kaidan, so of course I pursued that n***a like a stalker from the second I saw 'PRESS START'. Visiting him in every 10 minutes, taking him bottles of wine, making him treat me to steak and Batarian wine. I wanted Kaidan in my private quarters. And I wanted him to have suicide mission sex with me.
All slutiness and crassness aside, Kaidan and Shepard's relationship is very well done. It doesn't feel like an after-thought and it doesn't feel awkward or break either of the characters. It feels right. It feels genuine. It feels normal, as any functional gay relationship would feel.
Shepard has a bit of a reputation for being a whore and pointing his penis at anything that moves. Having sexed half of the females in the Terminus systems between Mass effect 1 and 2, you could argue that perhaps Shepard fancied himself a new conquest after growing tired of vagina. Male booty. But Shepard's quest for male biotic booty is actually rather sweet. It's not as straight forward and to the point as Shepard's primitive advances in Mass effect 1, or as strictly physical as his engine room floor pounding with Miranda or his unprotected basement sex with Jack. It genuinely tugs on the heart strings and makes you say "Awww!". Out loud and everything. Lots of subtle hints at possible affections are planted very early on in the game, so when that moment does hit and it's confession time, it doesn't seem so out of the blue. And the affirmation of feelings from both guys comes long before the suicide mission sex. So you can actually say the two of them are in a 'relationship', as opposed to 'they just had some sex'. But of course it all leads to that. It always does when Shepard's involved.
In all honesty, I don't think any straight man could resist Commander Shepard any way. Way too much sex swagger. That voice. That buzz cut. That big ol' ship. His hobby of doing the impossible. What the fuck is not to fall for!? *throws underpants at Commander Shepard*
Whether you're gay or not. I recommend having on having your male Shepard have suicide sex- I mean embark on a relationship with Kaidan Alenko.
Verdict: Kaidan will rock your world like a Reaper laser
All slutiness and crassness aside, Kaidan and Shepard's relationship is very well done. It doesn't feel like an after-thought and it doesn't feel awkward or break either of the characters. It feels right. It feels genuine. It feels normal, as any functional gay relationship would feel.
Shepard has a bit of a reputation for being a whore and pointing his penis at anything that moves. Having sexed half of the females in the Terminus systems between Mass effect 1 and 2, you could argue that perhaps Shepard fancied himself a new conquest after growing tired of vagina. Male booty. But Shepard's quest for male biotic booty is actually rather sweet. It's not as straight forward and to the point as Shepard's primitive advances in Mass effect 1, or as strictly physical as his engine room floor pounding with Miranda or his unprotected basement sex with Jack. It genuinely tugs on the heart strings and makes you say "Awww!". Out loud and everything. Lots of subtle hints at possible affections are planted very early on in the game, so when that moment does hit and it's confession time, it doesn't seem so out of the blue. And the affirmation of feelings from both guys comes long before the suicide mission sex. So you can actually say the two of them are in a 'relationship', as opposed to 'they just had some sex'. But of course it all leads to that. It always does when Shepard's involved.
In all honesty, I don't think any straight man could resist Commander Shepard any way. Way too much sex swagger. That voice. That buzz cut. That big ol' ship. His hobby of doing the impossible. What the fuck is not to fall for!? *throws underpants at Commander Shepard*
Whether you're gay or not. I recommend having on having your male Shepard have suicide sex- I mean embark on a relationship with Kaidan Alenko.
Verdict: Kaidan will rock your world like a Reaper laser
*throws underpants at Commander Shepard*
ReplyDeleteLMAO! You're killing me, J! XD
Ain't no resisting Commander Shepard *throws more underpants at Commander Shepard*
DeleteKaidan's gay relationship is the BEST one by far. :)
ReplyDeleteKaidan is awesome in every way. ♥
ReplyDeleteFemale and Male relationship with the Major are both very, very well done. :3