Skip to main content

[Blank] me daddy: A story of 2 grown ass men nastying up innocent Nintendo characters

Pound me Daddy (featuring Super Mario) | Yes, everything is rubbish (by Random J)

A friend and I had eaten trays of greasy food and decided to wash that down with a few drinks. A draft beer and a couple of mixers in a dingy East London bar later, the topic of discussion somehow moved onto gay sex attire. We made the jump from harnesses and leather pants with zippers in the front to T-shirts and juxtaposing Nintendo characters with unique characteristics and sexifying them. Because this is what grown men do at 9pm on a Wednesday night.

Our first creation featured Pikachu, with the slogan 'Shock me daddy'. We both agreed this was stupid and the sexual innuendo wasn't really that obvious. I'm sure there are guys who are into being poked with cattle prods, but it wasn't obvious enough. What followed was then Super Mario doing his arse pound, with the slogan 'Pound me daddy'. We struck gold (coins) and from that point on we were cooking on gas and spiralling into the depths of mess.

Me being the procrastinator that I am, and always spending disproportionate amounts of time on things I shouldn't AND always focusing my energy into foolishness; I mocked up some designs based on our discussions. These are just a couple of them. In total we came up with around 10. And knowing me, I'll end up doing designs for them all. But until then...

Suck me daddy (featuring Kirby) | Yes, everything is rubbish (by Random J) Swallow me daddy (featuring Yoshi) | Yes, everything is rubbish (by Random J)

Punch me daddy (featuring Spring man) | Yes, everything is rubbish (by Random J) Ride me daddy (featuring Princess Peach) | Yes, everything is rubbish (by Random J)

Nintendo. I'm so sorry.

Man, if only we'd come up with these designs when UNIQLO launched their Nintendo T-shirt design competition last year...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Black refiners. We’ve gotta talk about that Milchick and Drummond moment in the Severance episode, “The After Hours”.

So, I’m watching season 2 of Severance. And as I post this, the ninth episode of the season “The After Hours” has just aired. And I really wanna talk about it. Well, I wanna talk about one moment in particular — Milchick and Drummond’s lil’ chat. Probably one of my favourite moments of the episode, which felt like the culmination of lots of Milchick moments diverging — adding a new wrinkle to a story and a world which already has more wrinkles than a newborn Shar Pei. Severance has made a commentary on a lot of things. Corporate shenanigans. Abuse of power dynamics. Sexisism. Homophobia. Religion. Consent. Control. And now I guess we can add race to the mix. Full disclaimer. To fully pre-empt and prevent being branded a liar and being misleading — the images in this post with subtitles are not official subtitles from Severance. They are subtitles I slapped on the images for extra effect and humour’s sake, in the vein of ‘What would these characters want to actually say’. I am including...

Nintendo and the Switch 2 pricing shenanigans

I am one of the few people in existence who does not own a Nintendo Switch. Y’all. Even my mum owns a Nintendo Switch. It’s crazy, because I have been with Nintendo through thick and thin and owned near-enough all of their systems. Nintendo has been a constant presence in my life. But the Wii and the Wii U left a sour taste in my mouth which made me apprehensive about buying a Switch. And because I had Mario Kart 8 and Breath of the Wild on Wii U, I had no real incentive to buy a Switch early on. And then there was the Joy-Con drift issue which was a thing from the very beginning. But by the time the Switch had blossomed into this great system with a fantastic library of games, I figured ‘I’ll just get the rumoured Switch Pro when it drops’. Of course I knew this probably wouldn’t be the name, but I was adamant that a revised version of the Switch would release at some point and hopefully Nintendo woulda fixed them damn Joy-Cons. System redesigns mid-way through a console life cycle ha...

Game Review: Kingdom Hearts III | A mess

I typed this post after the first couple hours of playing Kingdom Hearts III, with the intent of posting it the next morning. But then I kept playing it more and more, and this post just became a near diary of my thoughts of Kingdom Hearts III. So, what was supposed to be my First impressions, became more like my first, second, third, forth, fifteenth impressions. Basically a su-   Fuck it. It’s a damn review. As if anybody gives a damn. This post isn’t that spoilerific. But there are definitely spoilers. So if you’ve not played through Kingdom Hearts III yet, then go stream “Don’t Think Twice” by Hikaru Utada on Spotify.