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[Blank] me daddy: A story of 2 grown ass men nastying up innocent Nintendo characters

Written by Random J •
Pound me Daddy (featuring Super Mario) | Yes, everything is rubbish (by Random J)

A friend and I had eaten trays of greasy food and decided to wash that down with a few drinks. A draft beer and a couple of mixers in a dingy East London bar later, the topic of discussion somehow moved onto gay sex attire. We made the jump from harnesses and leather pants with zippers in the front to T-shirts and juxtaposing Nintendo characters with unique characteristics and sexifying them. Because this is what grown men do at 9pm on a Wednesday night.

Our first creation featured Pikachu, with the slogan 'Shock me daddy'. We both agreed this was stupid and the sexual innuendo wasn't really that obvious. I'm sure there are guys who are into being poked with cattle prods, but it wasn't obvious enough. What followed was then Super Mario doing his arse pound, with the slogan 'Pound me daddy'. We struck gold (coins) and from that point on we were cooking on gas and spiralling into the depths of mess.

Me being the procrastinator that I am, and always spending disproportionate amounts of time on things I shouldn't AND always focusing my energy into foolishness; I mocked up some designs based on our discussions. These are just a couple of them. In total we came up with around 10. And knowing me, I'll end up doing designs for them all. But until then...

Suck me daddy (featuring Kirby) | Yes, everything is rubbish (by Random J) Swallow me daddy (featuring Yoshi) | Yes, everything is rubbish (by Random J)

Punch me daddy (featuring Spring man) | Yes, everything is rubbish (by Random J) Ride me daddy (featuring Princess Peach) | Yes, everything is rubbish (by Random J)

Nintendo. I'm so sorry.

Man, if only we'd come up with these designs when UNIQLO launched their Nintendo T-shirt design competition last year...

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