Talkin' some shit about... WandaVision - Episode 9 | Wanda at Large

Well, it's over. The finale episode of WandaVision, simply titled The Series Finale.

The WandaVision finale was pretty much the showdown we knew we were gonna get following the end of episode 8; a witch off between Agatha and Wanda, and a Vision 2.0 vs. Wii White Vision showdown, with some questions being answered along the way. But episode 9 was less about tying up loose ends and more about closing a chapter, both figuratively and in Wanda's case quite literally. WandaVision had pretty much given most of the answers it had to give by episode 8. We knew who Agatha was. We knew Wanda was born a witch. We knew that man was not Quicksilver. We knew why sitcoms. We knew that Wanda created the whole damn thing. We knew Vision and those kids couldn't exist outside of the Hex. We knew Hayward was a bad guy. So the only real mystery left was how it'd all end.

My dumb ass figured that maybe Agatha wouldn't turn out to be a complete bitch and would help Wanda. I guess you could say that she does, inadvertently. But Agatha is definitely the villain here. She wants Wanda's powers, no matter the cost. Although given how Wanda and Agatha part by the end of this episode, Agatha could very well become a reluctant ally, and be to Wanda what Loki is to Thor.

Episode 9 picks up exactly where episode 8 left off; with Agatha, Wanda and dem fake kids out in the middle of the street. Agatha has really finessed her magic sucking ability, because not a damn thing Wanda does seems to work. Wanda and her bold self is like 'Bitch, I can use magic now' after being confined in Agatha's basement where she could not. She blasts Agatha, just for her to absorb and hold Wanda's magic in her hands, all the while Wanda's hand shrivels like a prune.

Wanda. You in danger girl.

So despite Wanda being told that she's a powerful bitch, she can't just blast the shit out of Agatha for fear of ending up like those corpse hoes in Salem back in 1693. So Wanda throws her Buick at Agatha whilst she's giving her villain monologue. I was like 'Oh shit, she's dead already' and was actually on board for Agatha being taken down so easily and so quickly to completely fuck with expectations. But when Wanda goes to inspect the body, all that's there are Agatha's shoes.

C'MON WIZARD OF OZ.

And then Apple White Vision shows up.

Wanda's dumb ass is like 'Vision?' and doesn't even question why he's completely white, isn't speaking to her as he normally does and just lets this man put his hands on her face - with him then attempting to crush Wanda's skull. You hear the sound effects of her head slowly being crushed and everything. I was eating food as I watched this, and my stomach turned a little. But Vision 2.0 turns up just in the nick of time.

Whilst Ceralac White Vision is lying in a crater 30 yards away, Wanda apologises to Vision 2.0 and we get her first admission of what she'd done, that it was a mistake and that she'll fix it. The whole time I'm thinking 'Bitch, how though?'. Westview seems too far gone to just undo, because it's more than changing a few store fronts and billboards, but whatever.

As we would imagine, Paper White Vision and Vision 2.0 are evenly matched, and the whole thing plays out like a Superman battle, with flying, heavy punches, lasers, capes and lots of spinning around. Shit was giving me a headache. Meanwhile Wanda heads into the town centre to bring down the Hex, and of course Agatha is there waiting for her ass. And this is when we get confirmation of what the book is that we saw in episode 7. Many had speculated that this was the Darkhold, a spell book of the damned and they were right. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D fans were probably confused that the Darkhold had a completely different cover and figured that maybe this was a different volume. But nope. Just the one book. Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige doesn't see any of the shows that weren't produced under him as MCU canon. So the Darkhold was see here is the MCU's Darkhold. Fuck that other book. This version looks far more demonic and sinister, although it looks like it's lighter on material. Shit looked like it had about 4 pages in it, and most of them with drawings that took up the entire page.

Seeing as Agatha has both the book and Wanda in front of her, she chooses to read them both, and tells Wanda she is a damn witch whether she believes it or not, that she'll bring about destruction, that she's trash and she's the bad guy. Wanda doesn't believe that she is capable of doing such things or being bad, to which Agatha days 'Really bitch?' and then casts a spell on Anya aka Dottie who falls out of Wanda's Hex mind control. Upon coming to, Anya approaches Wanda, pleading with her to let her daughter out of her room, and that she's willing to let her be a part of whatever storyline Wanda likes, just as long as she can see her - answering the question of what Wanda did to the children of Westview. Yep. Locked them in their rooms and left them in a catatonic slumber. Somebody needs to smuggle a phone into Westview and get child services in this bitch.

I thought Wanda had a breakthrough earlier, telling Vision she'd fix her mess and realise what she'd done, but she's still in denial that she's been mind controlling everybody and has the nerve to tell Agatha that she's making Anya say this shit. Agatha says 'Oh, bitch, you still wanna play games?!' and then casts a spell to release everybody else out of their Hex mind control, all of whom are scared of Wanda, but absolutely sick of her shit. As Monica had told Hayward in episode 5, when you're in the Hex all you feel is Wanda's grief. Norm / Abilash tells Wanda that when she allows them to sleep at night, they have her nightmares. One woman says she'd rather die than keep living the sitcom life in the Hex, and this line comes from Kitty of That '70s Show of all people.

I really do wish the show had delved into the feelings of the Westview residents a little more, because it really adds to the horror aspect of Wanda's Hex and the contrast of what Wanda sees it as versus what it actually is for everybody else. Giving us more of these moments may have muddied the waters and caused us to have less empathy for Wanda if we were made to feel that she's in the wrong, but I don't think this is a bad thing. Wanda has never been coded as a clear cut hero in the way others have been both in the comics and in the MCU, so there was no obligation for us to see her as such. Also, WandaVision went to lengths to almost insinuate that Wanda was or could be the bad guy anyway. But this is Marvel Studios. So they wanna keep it simple. I guess.

Wanda becomes so overwhelmed with everybody surrounding her and voicing their grievances with her that it causes her to snap and choke everybody. Wanda didn't intend for this to happen. But as we saw in episode 8, there is a connection between Wanda's powers and her feelings, and Chaos magic is destructive by nature. And she proves Agatha's point that she can't control the powers that she has, and that she'll hurt people because of it. Wanda immediately realises what she's done and that she is truly fucking these people over for no good reason, and finally gets around to doing what she went to the town centre to do in the first damn place: bring down the Hex. But Vision, Billy and Tommy are conveniently in the vicinity at that exact moment, and as we knew, all three of them are tied to the Hex because they were created within it, so they all hit the floor and start dying. The sight of Wanda's family calling out and slowly fading away is too much for her, so she puts the Hex back up again, but not before Hayward and a few S.W.O.R.D squads are able to make it inside. Agatha is tired and she's thirsty for Chaos magic, so she blasts Wanda and her family to force her to use her powers, which she does by creating a protective bubble around her family. C'MON THE INCREDIBLES. And then Agatha quenches her thirst for some o' dat sweet magic. Now Wanda's hands look like Wesley Snipes' after writing on a chalkboard.

Oh. Y'all remember that mid-credit scene in episode 7 with Monica being snuck up on by Fake Pietro? Well, it turns out he captured her and she's being held hostage in his man cave. Monica tries to make an escape, but that superspeed tho. Given Monica's power set (if they follow the comics) there are numerous ways she'd be able to escape if she knew how, but she doesn't, so she just bides her time. And then we get a reveal that made the entire 'This has gotta be Quicksilver from the X-Men films' hive scream so fucking loud in disbelief and pain that folk who are actually in the damn multiverse heard it. Y'all know Agnes' husband Ralph who we never saw? The one everybody thought was either her Rabbit, the missing person in witness protection or Mephisto? Well, it's Fake Pietro. Agatha took control of him and moved into his house. And to add insult to injury, his name is Ralph Bohner.

I laughed. But I know some of y'all wept. Episode 6 gave us too many signs that this person was not Quicksilver for shit and there was no multiverse shit at play yet. In Episode 7 Wanda explicitly told her kids 'That man is not your Uncle' which was pretty much directed at us. And yet y'all decided to still believe that it might still be Quicksilver. Somehow. Y'all played yourselves.

This whole scene was weird though, and the reveal was the thing that actually made the most sense, as garbage as it was. I don't get how Monica can be thrown into the ground by Wanda, THE Scarlet Witch, and stick a superhero landing unharmed. But she gets a Quicksilver finger poke and is sent flying into a chair and left nursing a hurt arm. And yet moments later, she's able to WWE throw him, and pin him to the ground long enough to use her powers and figure out what Agatha has done to control him - things that she shouldn't be able to do so easily given his speed. And how did Fake Pietro aka Ralph aka Dashed Hopes and Dreams even get that speed? Can witches give people powers too!?

Nut White Vision turns up and wants that smoke, so Vision 2.0 gives it to him. And Wanda is over her hands looking un-moisturised, so she takes that shit right to Agatha. Meanwhile Billy and Tommy are left to deal with a S.W.O.R.D tactical squad, who are in position with their gurns armed. Billy uses his powers to mind freeze them, whilst Tommy zips around to disarm them. Then bitch ass Hayward steps out of a truck, pulls out the glock and shoots them, but Monica jumps out in front of them to shield them, with her newfound abilities kicking in; phasing and absorbing the impact and kinetic energy of the bullets as they pass right through her.

Now, whilst I get that WandaVision has officially put us on the 'Hayward is a cunt' train, and I can't stand the man, even I was like 'Woah. He's really just capping children in the street!?'. It seemed extreme, even for him. Especially as someone who hasn't shown much of a penchant for getting his hands dirty. And I definitely felt a type of way about a Black woman having to leap out and take bullets for some white people, even if they were kids. Also, if I'm gonna be an even fussier bitch, what the fuck was Hayward even aiming at? With the shots he took, they were never gonna hit those kids. One bullet also manages to pass Monica's eyeline, but fall in front of Billy's. I guess Marvel could just say 'Well, physics work differently in the Hex.' This entire moment was a mess, but if nothing else it further fuels the 'Monica is an absolute hero' campaign, even if she's reckless in regards to her own life. And it provides a moment for Monica where she very clearly sees that Hayward isn't just an arsehole, but he is not a good guy at all.

Hayward hops in an armoured truck ready to run Monica and the kids over. Again...extreme. But Darcy pulls up in the funnel cake truck we last saw her in during episode 7 and rams into Hayward, delivering one of the episode's best lines 'Have fun in prison'.

Marvel should drop 'Have fun in Prison' merch, but they also shouldn't. They also would never.

Vision 2.0 and Oat Milk White Vision take their fight to the library, and Vision 2.0 is already over it and asks Coconut Milk White Vision why he's doing this nonsense. And he says that 'It's a programming directive to destroy The Vision'. We knew this'd be the case, Vision 2.0 fucking knew this was the case, but sometimes characters have to say shit out loud. And the moment he said this, I knew exactly where this scene was gonna go.

Bank Statement White Vision isn't evil, or a bad guy. He's just a robot programmed with a mission. But he's still a form of Vision, which means logic still applies and is paramount to him. Vision 2.0 uses the metaphysics of identity thought experiment the ship of Theseus, which asks the question that if something has had every part replaced, if it can still be considered the same object - which of course is relevant for these two versions of Vision, both of whom are Vision, but could also be considered not to be. So, now Paper White Vision is stumped and can't carry out his directive.

I figured that Vision 2.0 would merge himself with Cetaphil Lotion White Vision so that he can be with Wanda outside of the Hex, but of course WandaVision gave me a twist. MJ White Vision says that he has no memory of his life, but Vision 2.0 says 'Bitch, please. You're a robot. S.W.O.R.D just password protected a zip file with all that shit' and unlocks it for him. Dove Soap White Vision visibly gains a new level of cognisance and says 'I am Vision' then flies away. Which means that Vision is still alive to clap Wanda's cheeks another day, but we're absolutely gonna watch him die again by the end of this episode, because Wanda can't have nice things. But all of this shit is absolutely her fault.

Back to the witch off, and it's escalated, with everything turning that lovely shade of crimson and doo-doo brown that every superhero action film loves for its final big battle sequences.

Wanda knows that she can't just pelt Agatha with magic without Agatha going Shang Tsung on a bitch, so she has to use alternative means. Here we see Wanda learning shit FAST. She can now teleport, and learns the ability to cast runes (as Agatha explained to Wanda in episode 7), which is ultimately how Wanda defeats Agatha. Throughout this entire witch off it seems that Wanda may be way in over her head, which she truly was. But even with Agatha schooling and besting her at times, there's no mistaking how powerful Wanda is. After all, she is THE Scarlet Witch.

An entire coven and Agatha' own mother who appeared to be an all powerful witch was not able to withstand Agatha draining them of their power, and yet Wanda was still able to cling to her life when Agatha took hers and when Wanda willingly gave it up herself. Draining a witch's power doesn't seem to be a common thing that all witches can do, and yet we see Wanda drain Agatha of all the Chaos magic she took from Wanda, causing her to truly become The Scarlet Witch that Wanda shown by the mind stone all those years ago.

If there's one thing WandaVision nails it's power acquisition scenes. Monica getting her powers as she passed through the Hex barrier was a standout MCU moment, and Wanda becoming The Scarlet Witch is another. The scene is amazing. Amazingly shot, great VFX and an amazing rendition of "Wanda's Theme". I had reservations about how Wanda's Scarlet Witch outfit would look, but it really does look great. Wanda looks so good that even Agatha is a bit gagged. It looks a bit Avengers-ey, which makes sense despite most of the outfits in the MCU looking like they were all made by the same person. I guess the MCU has its equivalent of Edna from The Incredibles. I was hoping for something about more Doctor Strange in texture and design. But in the context of WandaVision it makes sense that an outfit for The Scarlet Witch would be modernised through Wanda's lens of how a witch would look in the 21st Century.

Wanda doesn't kill Agatha, which further highlights how the two differ, as Agatha is willing to let a witch die just in order for her to have their power. Wanda decides to keep her prisoner in Westview in the role she chose for herself as the nosy neighbour. This could be seen as a nod to Pleasant Hill, which in the comics is a suburban town in a reality warped bubble just like Westview was, that S.H.I.E.L.D used as a prison.

In the comics Agatha isn't a straight-up villain and tends to be pretty neutral for the most part. She even ends up mentoring Wanda. In fact, even here when Agatha realises she's been bested, she tells Wanda 'Good girl' and it seems genuine despite how pissed she is. As much as Agatha wanted Wanda's power, I think deep down there's an admiration that she has for Wanda's quick learning and the fact that she was able to turn the tables on a witch who had been practising witchcraft long before her. Perhaps Agatha sees herself in Wanda. Before Wanda Hexes Agatha into a Westview nosy neighbour, Agatha even tells Wanda that she's going to need her, and she most certainly will.

It's great that Agatha wasn't killed off, because Kathryn Hahn is amazing as Agatha. She chews up every single scene, and made me aware of how key physical acting is in scenes where there will be visual effects put on you. Every movement Kathlyn makes has intent, and it breathes so much more life into a character which is already overflowing with it.

Wanda wasn't able to commit to bringing down the Hex before, but she knows that she has to, and decides to have one last night in Westview as a perfect family before she rolls the credits on her sitcom life for the last time. She and Vision tuck the boys into bed and then share a moment alone as the Hex barrier looms. It occurred to me in this moment that this is the first actual conversation that Wanda and Vision have had in almost 3 episodes, having spent most of this episode and the last couple of episodes apart.

As was the case with the WandaVision moment in episode 8, this is equally tender and we see the roles reverse. Where-as Vision was the one to offer words of comfort to Wanda at a time of grief, Wanda is the one to offer them to Vision who is notably scared and so in love with Wanda. Vision asks what he is and Wanda is honest and clarifies things for those who didn't grasp what we saw at the end of episode 8 in the scene where we got the twist that Vision was not resurrected but created by Wanda. 'You Vision, are the piece of the mind stone that lives in me. You are a body of wires, blood and bone that I created. You are my sadness and my hope. But mostly, you're my love'. It's a beautifully touching moment which once again, takes something crazy and mystical and grounds it in something so real. And it also highlights that some of the best moments of WandaVision have been between Wanda and Vision, and the ways in which they navigate their lives as a couple through situations they encounter.

And then Wanda is right back where she was when all this shit started, but leaving Westview a different person from who she was when she first drove there in her Buick, which is still parked right beside the would-be-house. But she leaves it there, instead opting to walk back through Westview, for reasons. I know a bitch can fly, but damn. That's a whole car. At least give it to a Westview resident as a peace offering. Damn.

Wanda walks through Westview with her hood up like nobody is gonna notice her, and every single person is giving her dirty looks and deservedly so. Wanda's story is sad, yes. But what she did to them was still shit, and a bit of side-eye from Westview residents the least of what she truly deserves. Wanda doesn't even try to apologise to any of them or give them a little Hex to fix up the town. She just ignores them. Monica however is far more empathetic than Wanda and Westview.

Monica says what somebody in Wanda's position would want to hear, but nothing she says feels like it's placating. Monica says that if she had Wanda's power, she'd more than likely bring her mother back. I think most people who would bring a loved one back to life if they had the ability to. But the most important moment in the scene for me is that Wanda gives Monica an apology, because Monica was the one person who stayed riding for Wanda, even when Wanda did things that would make most pack it up and say 'Fuck that bitch'. I feel a type of way that a Black woman had to be that person, but am also glad we got a Black woman in WandaVision who was consistently a bad bitch and a hero from day one. It also speaks to the nature of Monica's character, as we saw in Captain Marvel. Monica's moral compass is so damn clear. But I can't help but think that Monica gave Wanda more grace than she deserved. Grief doesn't give you an excuse to be a cunt.

Wanda then transforms into her new outfit and then flies off and there's a quick shot that almost makes her look like she's riding a broom.

Many people were wondering just how the fuck WandaVision would wrap with so many loose ends. Maybe I was optimistic. Maybe I was realistic. Maybe I was just so down for the ride that I didn't feel no two ways about it. But I'd say that the WandaVision finale managed to stick the landing by reminding us what the focus of the story was in the first place, which is what made episode 8 (what y'all called the filler episode) all the more necessary. This is Wanda's story. And it was refreshing to not see Marvel use it as a shameless platform to launch other shows as I felt The Mandalorian did - because it's fully what I expected.

Some may be a little disappointed that they didn't get every answer to every thing, but not every question needed answering. In fact, there were a whole host of questions that the Internet is saying the finale didn't answer, when WandaVision never posed the questions in the first place. The Internet did. They saw Easter Eggs and interpreted things how they wanted and ran with it.

The WandaVision finale answered the most important shit. The rest, y'all can make YouTube videos about as to whether they'll be answered in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier and Loki.

The season finale felt equally satisfying and underwhelming at the same time. The episode did everything that it needed to. It provided a sense of closure, it answered questions and nobody died indefinitely, leaving them open to appear as Kevin Feige so chooses in films. But it was also a little chaotic, and the only episode where I felt that either the runtime actually needed to be a little longer, or maybe certain things which occurred in this episode needed to have happened earlier. Or maybe even across two episodes.

Many complained that the episode times were too short, but the sitcom episodes were of the length of sitcoms, which made sense. And I actually liked how lean the runtimes were, as my attention span isn't what it used to be and watching 20 - 30 minute shows works for me.

But the brevity of the finale and it being so action heavy made me wish that certain moments were pressed or a little more or anchored, because it seemed to breeze through things that I think we should have stuck on a bit longer. There is no way in hell that Monica wouldn't have got in Hayward's face over opening fire on some children. There is just no way. Wanda getting to just fly away to her little Sokovian retreat after holding a whole town hostage is just Marvel doing what they always do, which is allow these characters to go somewhere, fuck up people's lives and then just leave without facing any repercussions of what they've done. You would think that Wanda of all people would be so damn apologetic about tearing families apart and up-ending an entire town given what happened to her family, her home and how instances of her carelessness led to a train derailing almost killing hundreds of people in South Korea, Hulk going ballistic in Africa, the Crossbones explosion killing an entire floor of people in Lagos (Lay-gos y'all. Not Lah-goss). What is it with the MCU and letting Africa get fucked up? Whilst I get that the Westview residents are scared, I think not one resident walking up to Wanda and really letting her have it was a dropped ball. It's not enough for Wanda to apologise to only Monica, who deserved far more than that white woman apology. That Alfre Woodard moment we got in Civil War, we needed one like it here. Abilash finding out that his father who he was concerned about in episode 6 died and he didn't have the chance to say goodbye. Something that showed Wanda that what she did caused somebody to lose somebody dear to them without being able to spend their last moments by their side or sat goodbye - all things Wanda had the privilege to in addition to being able to create new memories with a person that she lost.

The finale of WandaVision was good. The reveal and big moments we got were great, but there were some patchy moments. The issues with the finale are residual things that carried through other episodes as opposed to things wrong with the episode itself. And I do thing that the short and tighter runtimes of some of the earlier episodes meant that the final episode was always going to be up against the clock.

I felt there was a sense of trying to balance the story of love and grief which was being told with moments that fans would expect from a Marvel production, and that the finale leaned into the later for the most part. But that's not to say that the action stuff wasn't good. The VFX were mad inconsistent and some shots were straight up raggedy, as they always are in Marvel productions and they shouldn't be when its Disney money and resource. But the action was still good. Director Matt Shakman did a great job despite action shit not being his MO, and I really liked how in every action scene he always cut to character reactions and close-ups. It was never just a scene for spectacle as can often be the case in Marvel action sequences. It was always about the characters in that moment.

But the one thing this finale showed for every character was a sense of growth in some form. We've seen Agent Woo go from a goody two shoes, to a guy who breaks rules and likes to fuck shit up a little to get shit done. It seems he picked up more from Scott Lang than just magic tricks. Dr. Darcy has developed the taste for adventure and discovery that Jane Foster would always drag her into. Monica has become a hero. And we see Hayward's thirst to protect the world from what he deems terrorists essentially turn him into one. And Wanda finally gets some form of closure and enters this new phase of her life where she gets to define her own path as opposed to walking one which is shaped by tragedy. Although given the post-credit sequence where she hears Billy and Tommy whilst reading the Darkhold, she may veer from said path and end up back on some bullshit to get what she wants regardless of the cost to others around her.

Lawd.

📒 My Episode notes

• Kathryn Hahn
• The Scarlet Witch outfit was good
• Billy is adorable, and adorable is a word I rarely ever use
• Christophe Beck, you did amazing sweetie
• There are barely in Black people in Westview
• Vision in that turtle neck
• Will Monica's powers truly follow the comics?
• The Evan Peters / Ralph reveal was a bit raggedy