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Hope is back. Serah is a ho. Lightning is a tramp.

Square Enix seem to be going the X-2 route this game. Take a useless ho from the original game and then give her a proper weapon and all of these gymnastic skills which she never had before. And then have her search for the main character of the original game who is supposedly dead. Watch Serah make like Lightning at 1:29.


Hope's cameo in this trailer had under-age girls' panties wet over the weekend. He's pretty much leveled up into being the gaming world equivalent of Justin Bieber. I liked Hope as a character in XIII. I may just be one of the few people in the world who did. So I'm glad to see him back. This opens the door for all of the other characters to make a return as well. Although I'm hoping the door to Vanille making a comeback gets slammed in her face. I don't want her back. I don't want her back ever. And it would be a piss-take if the original cast of XIII aside from Lightning were made to be nothing more than NPC's.

I can't wait to see what the deal is with Snow. Because Serah is parading around with this Noel dude with complete disregard that she was set to be Snow's wife before.

If I were in charge of the story of this game I'd have it that: Snow cheated on Serah with Lightning. Serah went off at the deep end and starting taking drugs and engaging in back alley gang bangs around clubs in Cocoon. Lightning's form of atonement was to exile herself into this other world / dimension. And Snow decided to just kill himself. This Noel guy happens to come across Serah passed out behind some club alleyway, see's a pendant she's wearing which is similar to some important shit he saw somewhere in some ancient ass ruin in his hometown. Chalks his chance meeting of her up as a propehcy and decides to protect her. Serah finding herself with a man who wants not to penetrate her vagina and want nothing from her, finds it in herself to get herself together and embark on her quest to fight Lightning, because sisters have to stick together and all that shit. Because of this prophecy shit Noel is on, he decides to just tag along.

XIII-2 isn't wowing me. Every time I see the game in action, I just think "Is this it?" But I will buy it day of release regardless, because Square Enix have got me like that with these Final Fantasy games. They get worse, but I keep buying them. Because Square had me as one of their bitches the day I bought Final Fantasy VII. And don't you dare judge me. Because I know damn well some of you are no different. We are fellow bitches.

Game review: The thirteenth Final Fantasy

Comments

  1. I don't hate Hope either. I felt sorry for the poor kid; he loses his mother, gets thrown into the deep end of all that's going on, and his first mission is stuck with Vanielle? No wonder Hope is a mess! I'm glad he returns, but I'm also concerned for Snow - Serah's hasn't mentioned him once, has he 'disappeared' with Lightning? Or is he around but just not shown yet? I don't know, I've never been a fan of Square-Enix trailers as they're usually so quick edited, give little info and disjointed in dialogue/exposition, but like you I will buy it on it's release date...whenever that is...

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